The Dream

I grew up with two working parents. My parents worked hard to provide for us. We were never without food or clothes. There was always a roof over our heads. Even though I had tow parents who were working their butts off, we sill went without many of the luxuries that many children have. That many children take for granted.

For me that one thing I always wanted but could never have was ballet. I always wanted to be a famous ballerina. Growing up I knew we could not afford it, so I never asked. Looking back on it I wish I tried. Maybe I wouldn't feel so drawn to it now if I did. I find myself each day looking at ballet blogs and pictures of ballets. Now at 31 years old, this is one of those dreams that will never become a reality. I know that I am too old to go up on Pointe. I will always have that regret and dream.

I don't want Pickle to have those feelings. I wish I could give him the world, and I know that the is going to grow up knowing that Mom & Dad don't have money. Will he grow up like I did too and be to shy to ask? I really don't want his dreams to never see reality because he was afraid to ask or I couldn't afford it. I will be the first to admit that I have looked into Adult beginner classes for ballet. What I found made me quite sad. I found that most dance schools consider the term "Adult" to mean 16+. It just doesn't seem like it would be the right fit for me. I wish Adult meant, actually Adult. I would love to take a class with people like myself. Those who are of a more "advanced" age who are just learning. A girl can dream. If you know of a place in the east valley, let me know.

My Dream

Potty Training Part 2,154,457

Why is potty training so hard? I know that he is ready. I know that he has been ready for awhile, but I feel as if he is being lazy about it. Is that bad to say? If it is sorry, but I just don't know any more.

He knows when he goes. He tells me all the time. Even if he has a diaper on. He just doesn't tell me before he goes. I just don't know what to do. I have tried everything I can find.

Things we tried:
- 3 day potty training method - Major fail on our part
- 1 day potty training method - He just didn't care about it
- direct to underpants - Major fail for my carpet
- Training pants - Just like a diaper to him
- setting the timer for every 30 mins - Just plain old annoying for adults to deal with, and I am sure my little man didn't like it either
- Cloth diapers with out the inserts - Just like a combo of the diaper + underpants. He can feel it and know he did it, but my carpet is much happier for it.

I am at a loss!

*** Now I know there are many of you out there reading this, I need you to comment and tell me what the hell to do!!!!  I just don't know what to do. He is ready and I am ready, but he just won't tell me.

HELPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please!

Where has the time gone......

I sit here thinking to my self it feels like just yesterday I was returning to work from my maternity leave. Now I have a full blown little boy. He seemed to change overnight. He is now into the deep terrible twos. Last night I couldn't even eat dinner, he was so bad. I just don't know what to do with this kid some days.

I have noticed a few things. He was on electronics lock down for about week. He was a great kid. No problems. We Finally lifted the lock down and the kid turned into a demon child again. I think the no electronics is going to stay for awhile longer. It seems to cause the 2 year old to come out in full force. I can honestly say that the hardest part of the lock down is for M and I. We live for our phones.

Another think that seems to make things worst is the lack of sleep, which I am sure is common for any kid. With the night terrors we can't seem to catch a break. He ends up waking up and being up for quite a few hours, which cause him to get a bad nights sleep, and us to get a bad nights sleep. The combination of the two is lethal.

We have also decided to give potty training another go this weekend. We have a nice long weekend at home planned. So Hopefully It will work out. Cross your fingers.  Pickle shows some signs that he is ready and some signs that he is not. We are going to give the three day potty training method ago. I bought the book and read it! I truly wish there was someone out there who would potty train my kid for me. It would make things a lot easier. I am not looking forward to it.

If anyone has any tips or suggestions please let me know. I can use all the help I can get. As a first time mom I am leaning on anyone I can for support.

Vacation

Vacation, yes you read that correctly. But more importantly what does that mean. Is she saying that she went on a great vacation and we are going to read about all the fabulous things she did, or does it mean they are going on a great vacation and we get to read all about the fabulous things she is going to do?

You are wrong!!!! So very wrong. I need a vacation, I want a vacation, I will have a vacation. Our vacation will be spent sitting on the surgical waiting room. That is right ladies and gents, I get to spend my vacation time waiting on M hand and foot, while he recovers from surgery. The official word came down a few weeks ago, and he will meet with the surgeon at the end of the month. They are going to take out his spinal cord stimulator and clear out some scar tissue. There is also talk of doing a fusion. We will know more after his appointment.  Please keep him in your prayers.

So no vacation for me. I am concerned with our daycare situation. His recovery time is normally 6-8 weeks. If we plan this right I can get about 3 weeks of coverage from friends and family, but after that I am not sure. Wish me luck, we can not afford to put little man in a daycare so this should be interesting.

Love, Hate

For us the holidays are a love & hate game. We love the family, friends, out of town guest, gifts, lights, and the spirit of the season.

We hate the mall, and the running around. All of the running around leaves us all with colds. BLAH! Currently I am the only one who is sick, and let me just tell you what a weird sick this has been. I feel like I am sick, but at the same time, I don't have the bad cough, or the consist runny nose. But I do have the sore throat, the the voice that doesn't seem to want to stay around. The weird part is All of these things come & go. So weird.

I know you didn't come here to listen to me blog about my cold, but it is there non the less. The cold forced me to miss work for one day, and stock pile some meds, but hopefully we will be on the mend soon. I do have to say I love a good old sick day. I was able to nap with my little man, and watch some bad day time television. I also got addicted to a lovely Fac.e.boo.k game. The best part is I got M hooked too!