I have no title

Well it is true. I have no title for this blog post. I am not entirely sure where this post is going to go either. Great you say, sure, then I shall carry on.

Oh I know. I am going to blog about blogging. I am technically a blogger, i will fully admit I am a terrible blogger. I and not too funny, I am not a speller, and I sure in hell don't have anything important to say. So maybe I am not a blogger. Maybe I am just someone who writes things down so she doesnt' forget. Kinda of like a grocery store list.

Where was I going with this again? oh Blogging... I love blogs, I love the stories I read. I don't feel alone when I read your stories. I read the stories of how you kid hit you with vomit on the car ride home, or how your son's baseball bat discovered it liked your cheek, and I realize I am not alone! That happened to me too! At that moment I don't feel like a bad parent anymore.

So Thank you bloggers, for making me realize that CPS might not be at my door step in the near future.

What the hell???

Being a mother has taken it toll on me. I can say it now. I have come to terms with it.

I can not change another diaper. I just can't. Yet the young master of our home refuses to consider being potty trained. Now I am faced with a mothers nightmare of diapers.... You guessed it diarrhea.

WHAT THE HELL????

I just can't take it. I just can't. Needless to say my therapist is going to hear about this in our session today. 

Rut??

I need something good to happen. I am not sure what, but I know I need it to happen soon.
I am stuck in a rut. I just came seem to pull out of it.

From the day Pickle was born I wanted to stay home with him. It has always been my dream to stay home with him. That was just not in the cards for us. M's injuries prevent him from working and he is the best person to stay home with the little man. So I work. I have a great job with a fantastic group of people. I can say I do love my job and the people I work with. We are truly a family here. I can not ask for a better job.

You are now asking your self.. If her job is so great why is she complaining that she is in a rut….. I am in a rut because I want to be at home. I am in a rut because I miss my son every day. I am in a rut because we can not do anything due to our financial situation. I am just in a rut.

I have been online a lot lately looking at all the things I want to do for Pickle, classes to sign him up for, activities to take him to, but I can't do any of that. I feel like I am a bad parent because we can't do any of that. I feel like a bad parent because I am not home. I feel like a bad parent because I am not living my dreams, but just working to get by. How can I teach my son that he can do anything he dreams of if he works hard, if I can not fill my own dreams. He was my dream. He will always be a part of my dreams.

I think in the end I am just in a mood. I just can't seem to pull myself out of it. I am not one of those people who normally sit around and wait for great things to happen to them. I have always believed that you make them happen. I just can't do it this time. I am in a rut. I can't pull out of.

Potty Training Part 2,154,457

Why is potty training so hard? I know that he is ready. I know that he has been ready for awhile, but I feel as if he is being lazy about it. Is that bad to say? If it is sorry, but I just don't know any more.

He knows when he goes. He tells me all the time. Even if he has a diaper on. He just doesn't tell me before he goes. I just don't know what to do. I have tried everything I can find.

Things we tried:
- 3 day potty training method - Major fail on our part
- 1 day potty training method - He just didn't care about it
- direct to underpants - Major fail for my carpet
- Training pants - Just like a diaper to him
- setting the timer for every 30 mins - Just plain old annoying for adults to deal with, and I am sure my little man didn't like it either
- Cloth diapers with out the inserts - Just like a combo of the diaper + underpants. He can feel it and know he did it, but my carpet is much happier for it.

I am at a loss!

*** Now I know there are many of you out there reading this, I need you to comment and tell me what the hell to do!!!!  I just don't know what to do. He is ready and I am ready, but he just won't tell me.

HELPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please!

Happy 2nd Birthday Pickle!!!

I want to say a very Happy Birthday to my Pickle!!!! We had his party on Sunday and Monday was the big day.

Sunday was his birthday party. Nothing big, just family and 2 very close friends. Needless to say we have a large family. We had a Yo Gabba Gabba Themed Party and I think it turned out really well. The poor boy did not sleep the entire day. Needless to say the poor guy was beat by the end of the day and so were we.

Happy Birthday Banner Out side the in-laws house

We took all of his gabba things from his bedroom and use them to help add some life to the theme.



The wall banner that we put up. I am saving this & putting it in his play room!



We Couldn't get a Gabba Cake anywhere so we got his Elmo, the next best thing for him.

Little Cake for the little man

Holding him back from taking the candles off

He loved loved everyone singing to him.

Blowing out the candles

Eating his cake

He wouldn't eat the cake until we got him a spoon!

Monday was his actually birthday, We had our 2 year baby well check appointment. He just got his flu shot. He is 34lbs and 36 inches tall. He is a big boy. After his appointment, We had breakfast with my Mother and a trip to Ikea. After the fun of shopping at Ikea we went home and just relaxed. I think we all needed some downtime. It was great weekend.

It is going to be a odd one.

Well this is going to be a odd post, Mainly because I am full of a ton of cold meds right now. What a better way to blog then full of drugs. We had a great weekend followed by a week of sick.

Friday night we went and took a nice long walk at the Mall. It was a nice trip. We got little man some pants and a a shirt that will look really nice, and are quite big so he should grow into them some what.

Saturday we went and had his 2 year pictures done and a family shot done (See Below) and then a nice lunch at Famous Dave's. I love their corn bread. It is one of my favorite things. After a nice lunch we went to see my Dad for his birthday, while Pickle played with his cousins.

Sunday was a busy day. We first went to chuck e Cheese, for the little man's first experience with a germ factory (and I think that is where we got our cold from). He had a blast. he did not quite get the games but he understood the running around part. I don't think M and I can take another trip! You need to be prepared to run a 10K in order to keep up with him. We followed by swimming and dinner at Grabbie's house (M's Mom). I think  he had the best weekend.I know we enjoyed ourselves. Too bad it was followed by some colds.

here are our pictures from the photos we had done on Sat. Hope you enjoy!

Family picture, I love his face in this one.

Family picture

Before he took off on us, he was on his way!

Sweet Boy

2 years old

The picture that went out to everyone.

Mommy and me.




Enjoy our weekend. We love comments!

House Logged

I think we are all getting a little stir crazy around here. The heat here has been insane the last few weeks. We live in a rural area out side of Phoenix, AZ, and in the summer we are looking at temps that are 115+, and lately we have been getting there. The worst part about the heat is the humidity that we have had lately. It is relentless.

Typically in the summer you stay in side, the only time you go out side is if you have to, and if you are lucky enough to have a pool. Because of this we are going crazy in the house! I am lucky enough to get out to go to work, but my poor child and husband are not as lucky. They have made a few trips to both Grandma's homes for some swimming, and out to a store here and there, but that is it. We are a one car household, and because we live in a rural area there is nothing around in a short walking distance (and short is all you can do before you die of heat stroke). I decided this week that we all need to get out of dodge!!

Due to constraints on our budget we are staying in town, but we have a full weekend planned, we are going to have Pickle's 2 year pictures done one day, Swimming at Grandmas another day, and The final part of the puzzle is a day at Chuckie Cheese (the thought of the germs alone are already killing me, but you do what you got to do and can afford). I think our little man is going to have a great weekend and I am so excited for it.

I hope everyone enjoys labor day weekend!

The best toy around!

A daily thing at our home, Cryons, and ABC Worksheets.

Lets Talk about us...

You have heard about our recent ups and downs, What you haven't heard about is the story of who we are, and how we came to be. Hop on you time machine and go back 14 years to the story of us.

M and I met while we were both in high school. We met while at work at a local Micky D's. I was a manager at the time and M was crew member. He was a junior and I was a senior. I can honestly say that M was incredibly annoying. He was a pain in my butt. I don't how else to say it. I could not stand the man. He will to this day say the same thing about me. It took about a year for us to tolerate one another. One night while working late and closing the restaurant down, there was a few of us on the drive thru head sets just talking about nothing, this got M and I talking. That night he got my phone number. Don't get me wrong it took a while for us to get to the actual concept of a date, but one day I just kissed him. I knew it just had to be done. We have had our ups and downs, but no matter what we were best friends first, and we remain that way to this day.

Fast forward… We graduated high school, we started college and working life….. M was on his way to work one day, and was rear-ended on the freeway. He was hit by 4 different cars. This caused some major issues in his back. He has suffered numerous surgeries, procedures and a implant to try and help him live his life. He has severe issues with daily pain and use of legs. This accident changed both of our lives impermeability and forever, but we made it through, and that is all anyone can ask for. M will never be out of pain again, and will have monthly doctor's appointments, and yearly surgeries for the rest of his life, but he has a life and for that I am grateful.

Fast forward again… More surgeries, more doctors and a few years… We decided it was time to move forward with our lives and get married (so maybe it was not a decision more like the solution to some crazy argument). On April 1st of 2006 we were married. We had a small wedding, but a great time. This is also the time we finally moved out of our parents homes and move in together (we moved about 2 months before the big day). I have some of the best memories from those days. We didn't have a couch or table or chairs the first week or so, we had dinner on blankets spread on the floor while watching TV., we lived each day like any other, work, home, work, home, doctor, work, home, it was a nice routine and some carefree times.
After about a year of marriage we thought about starting a family. After a year of trying we had no luck, and I paid a visit to my doctor. We discovered my PCOS. We tried for a few months on clomid and still no luck, we decided it was time to go see a specialist (during all this time we were looking to purchase a home, found one, bought it and moved). After meeting with the specialist we decided to proceed with IUI's, and inject able medications. After 6 IUI attempts on our final attempt we got our little man. I don't think you would of ever say two people so excited. It took us over two years and all of our savings, but it was so worth it.

Our pregnancy was plagued from the start. I suffered from Over stimulated Ovaries (from all the fertility drugs), and was in a lot of pain for a few weeks. Once we got past that the bleeding started. Small amounts at first, and we were assured that our little pickle (yes that is what we called him in-utero) was okay. Then was day it was like dam broke, and we rushed back the hospital. At this time they discovered a complete placenta previa, and I was put on strict bed rest (only allowed up for the rest room & a Shower). The bleeding continued and a few more hospital trips, During this time they discovered the previa corrected itself and could not find the source of the bleeding. As the pregnancy progressed I ended up in pre-term labor and would be admitted again, and sent home again, the bleeding or contractions would start again and the process was the same. Around month seven they then discovered not only did my placenta move slightly again over my cervix, but I also have a vasa-previa, making this process even more complicated. It was finally decided to put me out of my Misery (Yes, I was a terrible patient. I suffer from a lot of anxiety and could not handle all of this, I was irrational, irresponsible and selfish. If I could go back and change my behavior I would). Pickle was born in perfect health at 36 weeks to the day. lbs. 7oz, and 19 inches long. It was a great day.

Fast forward…. Little man growing up… this is where this blog picks up. Our little man will be 2 in September, and is a great kid. He suffers from some pretty bad reflux, and his speech is a little slow for his age, but he is a great great kid. Always happy and smiling.

Since you were kind enough to read all of this, I will reward you with some pictures of or lives.. I hope you enjoy and comment!!!!!

So long ago, M's Senior Prom



April 1st 2006



You can't tell, but I am 2 weeks Prego at the time!! And not that is not my beer, it is M's!





Fresh out of the oven 2010



All Clean




Going home for the first time.



6 months old




with our first kid Daisy Mae





So cute







Too much jumping













First time swiming





little Crawler





baby's second Christmas







At phoenix childrens for testing on his tummy





Easter Sunday 2012



I love this one



When did Pickle become a big kid? It seems like overnight he is starting to lose the toddler and becoming a little boy. When did this happen?
Monday to Friday I am out of the house for work from 6am to 6pm, Every so often M shares a picture or two. Here is today's:
M went out to our back yard for a few minutes and left Pickle in the living room watching cartoons for a bit (you can yell at me later for letting my kid watch too much TV). He came in from out back and found this:

When did he get so big?