I am at a loss of words to describe how these past few days have been. Trying to describe these days as hard, seems to make light of the situation at hand.
M has been doing better each day that he is home from the hospital. That is a great thing, but in the course of running to and from the hospital, work, and baby sitters, Pickle has gotten sick. Which in turn he passed on to myself. It is a typical cold that we all have been to the doctor for at this time, but there seems to be nothing we can do to comfort our little man. This morning was the first morning he has not woken up with a fever, I do believe it broke during the overnight. Please cross your fingers.
In other news, we have finally hit rock bottom when it comes to finances. At this time I can honestly say that all our accounts are at 0.00, I scared of what is to come since I don't get another paycheck until the 26th. We are lucky that we have some food in the house, but I we don't have the gas to get me to and from work. That is what scares me the most. We have been really lucky that we have had family that has been able to help us out while M waits on a response to his disability from the state. Please say a prayer for us that things will start to change for us soon.
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Crazy, Hazy Days
Things have been so busy around here. M was lucky to come home on Saturday. Thank God, He is slowly recovering, getting better a little bit more each day. Since M is unable to care for our Pickle, I have had to bring him to different family members each day so I can still go to work. Friday he spent w/ his Auntie K, Sat & Sun he was with me (half at home, and half at hospital), Monday I was blessed enough to have my Mother in Law stay at our house and watch him, and Tuesday He went to spend the day with his Aunt S and his cousins. Today he is at my in-laws house with Big M and Auntie K again. We are so lucky to have family come and help us out when we need it. I can being to say how lucky we are to have family by our sides to help out.
Because poor Pickle has been tossed all around, his behavior is terrible. Has anyone experienced this? You can tell it all effecting him, but I can't change what is going on. I can not miss anymore work this year, and we can not afford to loose this job. I know that he needs a little stability, and I am hoping that I can do that starting next week, but I just don't think it is going to happen this week. It all comes down to how M feels. I hope he gets better soon.
In other news, this week my Grandmother passed (mother's mom). She has been very sick for quite some time. She is in a better place. Her services are going to be held back east over the weekend. I wish that I could go, but I just can't get those funds together. Tickets for the 3 of us were close to 1,600.00, that was just way to much and we didn't have that. I feel terrible that I won't be able to attend her services, I was not able to see her before she passed either. I just can't seem to let go of the guilt that I feel about the entire process.
I hope everyone has a better week that I did. The worst part is that it is only Wed. I still have a few more days to go.
Because poor Pickle has been tossed all around, his behavior is terrible. Has anyone experienced this? You can tell it all effecting him, but I can't change what is going on. I can not miss anymore work this year, and we can not afford to loose this job. I know that he needs a little stability, and I am hoping that I can do that starting next week, but I just don't think it is going to happen this week. It all comes down to how M feels. I hope he gets better soon.
In other news, this week my Grandmother passed (mother's mom). She has been very sick for quite some time. She is in a better place. Her services are going to be held back east over the weekend. I wish that I could go, but I just can't get those funds together. Tickets for the 3 of us were close to 1,600.00, that was just way to much and we didn't have that. I feel terrible that I won't be able to attend her services, I was not able to see her before she passed either. I just can't seem to let go of the guilt that I feel about the entire process.
I hope everyone has a better week that I did. The worst part is that it is only Wed. I still have a few more days to go.
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| At the park on Monday |
Friday, September 28, 2012
Happy M Day!
I have told M numerous times that he should get on here and introduce himself. Since we haven’t had an appearance yet, I thought I would fill you in the love of my life our big M. I can’t say enough great things about this man. He is our family comedian, the love of my life, the best dad you will ever see, and fiercely loyal.
When I say my husband is the best comedian you will ever meet, I am so serious. He is the comedy nexus in our home. He can turn anything funny. I must warn you though; his since of humor is twisted and sometimes dark. That being said once he knows you he will make you laugh at things you never thought could be funny. We have been telling him for years to do standup, but the poor guy is crazy shy.
Along with his sharp whit, is his sharp mind. He is a genius. I am taking a super smart; we could get him a cape with a big G on it, that is how smart he is. He can remember just about any crazy fact that you ask him (but yet somehow he forgets the grocery list). He is a wealth of knowledge. Comes in handy more often then you think it could.
I have already gone into the story of us, and how we came to be so I won’t make you sit through that all over again, but I will say I knew I loved him from the start. Being so young when we met, I didn’t recognize it, but I love him with all my heart and I have for so long. This man will fight to the death to protect me. He is always willing to help others when he can. He is the one person who can calm me down, I feel safe in his arms, and love him like no other.
M lives each day at home. Working outside of the home is not an option since his accident. That doesn’t mean M doesn’t work. He is a stay at home Daddy, and the best Daddy I have ever seen. He loves Pickle with the same passion and fieriness that he loves me. You have never seen such a happy little boy. They spend their day making crazy faces, telling stories, playing video games together, and cleaning house. I will be honest he is not the best housekeeper, but he is my housekeeper and I love him for it. He does so much during the day, it makes it so much easier when I go home. I am able to rest and play with my little man after a long day at work.
I hope that you were able to get a good insight to who M is from here. I know I have gone on and on and on. He is a great Man. There are no words to really say what a wonderful person he is. I hope that you see how great he is too.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Happy 2nd Birthday Pickle!!!
I want to say a very Happy Birthday to my Pickle!!!! We had his party on Sunday and Monday was the big day.
Sunday was his birthday party. Nothing big, just family and 2 very close friends. Needless to say we have a large family. We had a Yo Gabba Gabba Themed Party and I think it turned out really well. The poor boy did not sleep the entire day. Needless to say the poor guy was beat by the end of the day and so were we.
Monday was his actually birthday, We had our 2 year baby well check appointment. He just got his flu shot. He is 34lbs and 36 inches tall. He is a big boy. After his appointment, We had breakfast with my Mother and a trip to Ikea. After the fun of shopping at Ikea we went home and just relaxed. I think we all needed some downtime. It was great weekend.
Sunday was his birthday party. Nothing big, just family and 2 very close friends. Needless to say we have a large family. We had a Yo Gabba Gabba Themed Party and I think it turned out really well. The poor boy did not sleep the entire day. Needless to say the poor guy was beat by the end of the day and so were we.
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| Happy Birthday Banner Out side the in-laws house |
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| We took all of his gabba things from his bedroom and use them to help add some life to the theme. |
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| The wall banner that we put up. I am saving this & putting it in his play room! |
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| We Couldn't get a Gabba Cake anywhere so we got his Elmo, the next best thing for him. |
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| Little Cake for the little man |
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| Holding him back from taking the candles off |
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| He loved loved everyone singing to him. |
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| Blowing out the candles |
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| Eating his cake |
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| He wouldn't eat the cake until we got him a spoon! |
Monday was his actually birthday, We had our 2 year baby well check appointment. He just got his flu shot. He is 34lbs and 36 inches tall. He is a big boy. After his appointment, We had breakfast with my Mother and a trip to Ikea. After the fun of shopping at Ikea we went home and just relaxed. I think we all needed some downtime. It was great weekend.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Worried
I thought that I would put my thoughts and words down here today. I am scared and worried and I don't know if I have to be. That is the worst part do I need to be worried. Let me go back.
I had my annual exam at my OBGYN, and she found a lump in my breast during the exam. I will be honest, I am scared of what this could be. I go on Monday for the mamogram and a ultrasound to find out what this lump is. I keep on telling myself there is no point in being worried until I know there is something to worry about. However, I can't help but be worried.
I am scared, I will be honest here. This is a scaring thing. I am scared of the unknown. I am 30 years old and I have never had a mamogram, I don't know what to expect. I am scared this could be cancer. If it is cancer what happens then? I am the only one working, will I be able to keep working or will I have to take Medical leave? How will we be able to afford the treatments? How will Pickle do with a sick Mommy all the time? Will I die?
There are so many questions that I have, and I don't have any answers.
How do I go on waiting until Monday for the test? I don't know how.
I had my annual exam at my OBGYN, and she found a lump in my breast during the exam. I will be honest, I am scared of what this could be. I go on Monday for the mamogram and a ultrasound to find out what this lump is. I keep on telling myself there is no point in being worried until I know there is something to worry about. However, I can't help but be worried.
I am scared, I will be honest here. This is a scaring thing. I am scared of the unknown. I am 30 years old and I have never had a mamogram, I don't know what to expect. I am scared this could be cancer. If it is cancer what happens then? I am the only one working, will I be able to keep working or will I have to take Medical leave? How will we be able to afford the treatments? How will Pickle do with a sick Mommy all the time? Will I die?
There are so many questions that I have, and I don't have any answers.
How do I go on waiting until Monday for the test? I don't know how.
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Lets Talk about us...
You have heard about our recent ups and downs, What you haven't heard about is the story of who we are, and how we came to be. Hop on you time machine and go back 14 years to the story of us.
M and I met while we were both in high school. We met while at work at a local Micky D's. I was a manager at the time and M was crew member. He was a junior and I was a senior. I can honestly say that M was incredibly annoying. He was a pain in my butt. I don't how else to say it. I could not stand the man. He will to this day say the same thing about me. It took about a year for us to tolerate one another. One night while working late and closing the restaurant down, there was a few of us on the drive thru head sets just talking about nothing, this got M and I talking. That night he got my phone number. Don't get me wrong it took a while for us to get to the actual concept of a date, but one day I just kissed him. I knew it just had to be done. We have had our ups and downs, but no matter what we were best friends first, and we remain that way to this day.
Fast forward… We graduated high school, we started college and working life….. M was on his way to work one day, and was rear-ended on the freeway. He was hit by 4 different cars. This caused some major issues in his back. He has suffered numerous surgeries, procedures and a implant to try and help him live his life. He has severe issues with daily pain and use of legs. This accident changed both of our lives impermeability and forever, but we made it through, and that is all anyone can ask for. M will never be out of pain again, and will have monthly doctor's appointments, and yearly surgeries for the rest of his life, but he has a life and for that I am grateful.
Fast forward again… More surgeries, more doctors and a few years… We decided it was time to move forward with our lives and get married (so maybe it was not a decision more like the solution to some crazy argument). On April 1st of 2006 we were married. We had a small wedding, but a great time. This is also the time we finally moved out of our parents homes and move in together (we moved about 2 months before the big day). I have some of the best memories from those days. We didn't have a couch or table or chairs the first week or so, we had dinner on blankets spread on the floor while watching TV., we lived each day like any other, work, home, work, home, doctor, work, home, it was a nice routine and some carefree times.
After about a year of marriage we thought about starting a family. After a year of trying we had no luck, and I paid a visit to my doctor. We discovered my PCOS. We tried for a few months on clomid and still no luck, we decided it was time to go see a specialist (during all this time we were looking to purchase a home, found one, bought it and moved). After meeting with the specialist we decided to proceed with IUI's, and inject able medications. After 6 IUI attempts on our final attempt we got our little man. I don't think you would of ever say two people so excited. It took us over two years and all of our savings, but it was so worth it.
Our pregnancy was plagued from the start. I suffered from Over stimulated Ovaries (from all the fertility drugs), and was in a lot of pain for a few weeks. Once we got past that the bleeding started. Small amounts at first, and we were assured that our little pickle (yes that is what we called him in-utero) was okay. Then was day it was like dam broke, and we rushed back the hospital. At this time they discovered a complete placenta previa, and I was put on strict bed rest (only allowed up for the rest room & a Shower). The bleeding continued and a few more hospital trips, During this time they discovered the previa corrected itself and could not find the source of the bleeding. As the pregnancy progressed I ended up in pre-term labor and would be admitted again, and sent home again, the bleeding or contractions would start again and the process was the same. Around month seven they then discovered not only did my placenta move slightly again over my cervix, but I also have a vasa-previa, making this process even more complicated. It was finally decided to put me out of my Misery (Yes, I was a terrible patient. I suffer from a lot of anxiety and could not handle all of this, I was irrational, irresponsible and selfish. If I could go back and change my behavior I would). Pickle was born in perfect health at 36 weeks to the day. lbs. 7oz, and 19 inches long. It was a great day.
Fast forward…. Little man growing up… this is where this blog picks up. Our little man will be 2 in September, and is a great kid. He suffers from some pretty bad reflux, and his speech is a little slow for his age, but he is a great great kid. Always happy and smiling.
Since you were kind enough to read all of this, I will reward you with some pictures of or lives.. I hope you enjoy and comment!!!!!
M and I met while we were both in high school. We met while at work at a local Micky D's. I was a manager at the time and M was crew member. He was a junior and I was a senior. I can honestly say that M was incredibly annoying. He was a pain in my butt. I don't how else to say it. I could not stand the man. He will to this day say the same thing about me. It took about a year for us to tolerate one another. One night while working late and closing the restaurant down, there was a few of us on the drive thru head sets just talking about nothing, this got M and I talking. That night he got my phone number. Don't get me wrong it took a while for us to get to the actual concept of a date, but one day I just kissed him. I knew it just had to be done. We have had our ups and downs, but no matter what we were best friends first, and we remain that way to this day.
Fast forward… We graduated high school, we started college and working life….. M was on his way to work one day, and was rear-ended on the freeway. He was hit by 4 different cars. This caused some major issues in his back. He has suffered numerous surgeries, procedures and a implant to try and help him live his life. He has severe issues with daily pain and use of legs. This accident changed both of our lives impermeability and forever, but we made it through, and that is all anyone can ask for. M will never be out of pain again, and will have monthly doctor's appointments, and yearly surgeries for the rest of his life, but he has a life and for that I am grateful.
Fast forward again… More surgeries, more doctors and a few years… We decided it was time to move forward with our lives and get married (so maybe it was not a decision more like the solution to some crazy argument). On April 1st of 2006 we were married. We had a small wedding, but a great time. This is also the time we finally moved out of our parents homes and move in together (we moved about 2 months before the big day). I have some of the best memories from those days. We didn't have a couch or table or chairs the first week or so, we had dinner on blankets spread on the floor while watching TV., we lived each day like any other, work, home, work, home, doctor, work, home, it was a nice routine and some carefree times.
After about a year of marriage we thought about starting a family. After a year of trying we had no luck, and I paid a visit to my doctor. We discovered my PCOS. We tried for a few months on clomid and still no luck, we decided it was time to go see a specialist (during all this time we were looking to purchase a home, found one, bought it and moved). After meeting with the specialist we decided to proceed with IUI's, and inject able medications. After 6 IUI attempts on our final attempt we got our little man. I don't think you would of ever say two people so excited. It took us over two years and all of our savings, but it was so worth it.
Our pregnancy was plagued from the start. I suffered from Over stimulated Ovaries (from all the fertility drugs), and was in a lot of pain for a few weeks. Once we got past that the bleeding started. Small amounts at first, and we were assured that our little pickle (yes that is what we called him in-utero) was okay. Then was day it was like dam broke, and we rushed back the hospital. At this time they discovered a complete placenta previa, and I was put on strict bed rest (only allowed up for the rest room & a Shower). The bleeding continued and a few more hospital trips, During this time they discovered the previa corrected itself and could not find the source of the bleeding. As the pregnancy progressed I ended up in pre-term labor and would be admitted again, and sent home again, the bleeding or contractions would start again and the process was the same. Around month seven they then discovered not only did my placenta move slightly again over my cervix, but I also have a vasa-previa, making this process even more complicated. It was finally decided to put me out of my Misery (Yes, I was a terrible patient. I suffer from a lot of anxiety and could not handle all of this, I was irrational, irresponsible and selfish. If I could go back and change my behavior I would). Pickle was born in perfect health at 36 weeks to the day. lbs. 7oz, and 19 inches long. It was a great day.
Fast forward…. Little man growing up… this is where this blog picks up. Our little man will be 2 in September, and is a great kid. He suffers from some pretty bad reflux, and his speech is a little slow for his age, but he is a great great kid. Always happy and smiling.
Since you were kind enough to read all of this, I will reward you with some pictures of or lives.. I hope you enjoy and comment!!!!!
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| So long ago, M's Senior Prom |
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| April 1st 2006 |
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| You can't tell, but I am 2 weeks Prego at the time!! And not that is not my beer, it is M's! |
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| Fresh out of the oven 2010 |
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| All Clean |
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| Going home for the first time. |
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| 6 months old |
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| with our first kid Daisy Mae |
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| So cute |
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| Too much jumping |
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| First time swiming |
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| little Crawler |
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| baby's second Christmas |
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| At phoenix childrens for testing on his tummy |
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| Easter Sunday 2012 |
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| I love this one |
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