Debbie Downer

Lately I have been a little down in the dumps. I think the stress of the last few weeks of stress have started to really get to me. With M being in the hospital, then Pickle getting sick, followed by me getting sick. I think I really need to just relax and get some fun time in. We have been struggling a lot more lately with finances and that is just not getting better. In the back of my head I keep thinking we are getting closer and closer to M getting his disability. We just turned in a butt load of paperwork to them to get a decision, but the waiting is the hardest part.

I am starting to feel like I am not doing enough for our family, but I am doing everything that I can. I have been looking into getting a second job, but I worry what effect that will have on Pickle. I am already gone for so many hours in a day, what would happen if I was gone on weekends and nights too. We ask that all of you say some prayers for us. We can really use the help.

In good news Pickle is doing great with his speech therapy. You can really see a improvement each day. He is starting to talk to us more and mimic the things that we do. Last night we played "Oh No Poor Joe!" I don't know if anyone else knows of this, but my Darling Husband did not. You say Oh No Poor Joe he has no, Insert body part here. Pickle loved every second of it. He laughed his little butt off. He continued to do it the rest of the night. He is growing up so fast on me. I can honestly say it is going by too fast and I will miss the little baby. It makes you want another little soul to love (Don't worry that is a little ways off, we have bigger fish to fry right now). All in good time.

When it rains.....

When it rains it pours. That is how it goes in our home. On wed night we rushed M to the hospital with what we thought was Appendicitis. He was in a lot of pain. So all 3 of us were sitting in our local ER to find out that was wrong. After many hours in the hospital we found out, there were not entirely sure of what was wrong and needed to get another consultation . We found it was Epiploic appendagitis. Which I can say was something that I have never heard of. They are not sure why it is not getting better. Normally with time it clears up on his own and M should of been feeling some type of relief at this time, but at this time he is not. They are talking about doing exploratory surgery at this time to see if they can remove the part that is causing the pain, especially since it is effecting his appendix.
Please say a prayer for him and our family. The poor guy has been through so much in his life. He had the accident that changed his life, Surgery after Surgery, and countless procedures. I just wish he could wake up one day and be healed. Miracles do happen. Lets hope it happens for a man that deserves it.

Missing his Daddy.

We all miss you Daddy! Please get better soon so you can come home. The house is cold with out you.

How do you feel about God?

How do you feel about god? I don't know how to answer that question. It has been on my mind a lot lately.

For the last few months I have had a very negative outlook on things. We are broke and struggling every day to make ends meet, and it seems like that is the only fact I can focus on. This needs to change. When I decided that I needed a new outlook on life, I started thinking about God lately. I was brought up semi religious environment. My Grandmother is a devote catholic, and brought her kids up in the church. My mother was baptized as a protestant and not brought up in church. Because of these 2 different upbringing by my own parents, Religion was not pushed upon us, which I am forever grateful for. This has lead me to be what I call a bad catholic/Christian.

I believe in God and Jesus Christ, However I don't know if I put my whole heart into it like so many do. I find it hard to put my faith and trust in someone or something, when things are going as badly as they are currently. I know that many of you reading would tell me, now is the time to find my faith and put all my trust into the church and Christ, but I just can't do it. I feel like I am waiting on a sign from someone or something telling me this is how I need to lead my life, but will I recognize the sign when it comes my way.

Everyday is a new question for me, but for now the one thing I know is that I need to change my thoughts, and put my trust in my family and start finding the light in every day. I have a great life, yes it is hard, yes we struggle, but we love one another, and our beautiful son. We have family who loves and supports us and for that I will always be forever grateful.